Depression can be a very slow process in recovery. Whether you’ve had one episode of depression or it has been a really long battle. However, people do tend to get better over a period of time. There’s a lot of help out there for people, whom, like me have depression. I guess the biggest help of all would be finding, of course, the right help.
For me, my journey into recovery started by going to my GP and talking to my doctor. I found talking about my hellish life and all the terrible things that have happened to me near impossible to talk about. I just broke down into tears and I was extremely distraught. My first line of help was taking an anti-depressant called Sertraline/Zoloft.
I know medication can be frowned upon but why I don’t know, stigma perhaps? Sertraline gave me a boost or ‘ levelled me out,’ however, I was still depressed but at least I was able to talk about my difficulties to my doctor more, without been as distraught as I was.
The next line or course of action for me was being referred to psychology to talk about my ‘ difficulties ‘ at a deeper level and what can be done to change my situation/circumstance. After a few weeks, of one hour sessions, my therapist Rose referred me to Work Place Leeds – part of Leeds Mind. I was assigned a Mental Health Employment Specialist called Anna. We met twice at the West Yorkshire Playhouse for a coffee and a chat. The second time we met, Anna mentioned to me a charity called Equine Pathways UK in Gildersome, Leeds. I thought, to myself, horses; I’ve never even been in contact with horses before. I was a little bit fearful, Anxiety was kicking in, because of their size and getting a kick but, what did I have to lose?
On the 30th April 2015 myself and Anna went to Equine Pathways UK. I was extremely anxious as we got to the farm. My mind was racing with Anxiety. It would have been all to easy to turn around and go back home. If Anna wasn’t there with me I probably would have gone back home. There was no chance of getting out of it!
When me and Anna got on to the farm, Anna introduced me to a lovely lady, from Equine, called Paula. I instantly said, to Paula, “I’ve never had any contact with horses before.” Paula said to me that it doesn’t matter because at some point none of us had. That made me feel a little less anxious about meeting the horses although Paula did say it would probably be better to if I start off small. Paula, Anna and I walked over to the horse stables. I couldn’t even see any horses at first but when I got closer, I seen two of the most adorable little ponies, Twiggy and Peanut, they’re tiny little horses. I felt instant compassion for them because, like me, they too had a horrible time of it. Equine Pathways UK taken them in and gave them love and care and they’re well on their way to recovery now.
Paula gave me the chance to go into their stable and groom Twiggy and Peanut. I had no idea of what I was doing but Paula had shown me what to do and they seemed to enjoy being groomed. After five minutes my depression and Anxiety just slipped away. I’ve not felt so relaxed like that in about eight years. I could have quite happily stayed there, I didn’t really want to go home at this point. I even helped to put up an electric fence, which was fun. I’ve definitely made new friends and not just the horses.
Peanut enjoying some grooming, April 2015
Having been to Equine Pathways UK for a few times it has changed my situation, Equine Pathways UK has changed my circumstance and I no longer feel the need to take anti-depressants any more. I feel and I am a lot better than I was before I went to Equine Pathways UK and I’ll endeavour to carry on there. Maybe I will even be horse riding soon and taking part in the fundraising and charity events.
Equine Pathways UK, keep up with the brilliant work you do every day! A.
WorkPlace Leeds 